In The Age Of Social Media Bullying, Here’s How To Stay Calm(er)
It took me a long time to understand that not everyone who writes an unfavourable comment under my posts is trying to undermine me.
A big part of gaining confidence is learning to deal with other people’s criticism. The thing is — unless you’re a unicorn or unless you have five social media followers that consist of your parents, grandparents, and siblings — somebody will always argue with what you say on the internet. And they’re not bad or wrong for doing that. In fact, if their criticism upsets you, you are the one in the wrong.
I used to be scared of discussions and arguments as I always felt personally attacked when people started those with me. Now I understand that people are not attacking me, they are just sharing their own beliefs in response to the ones I shared. If someone comes to you with those, it doesn’t mean you’re required to either agree immediately or ferociously defend your agenda. You can just thank them for their opinion and politely respond with your own view.
The abundance to draw from in this world is unlimited. Just because someone else has an opinion, different from yours, doesn’t make yours less legitimate. Our opinions and views can all coexist together, just like all human beings can coexist. The only exception is when people have discriminative, hateful views for no reason — then, they’re definitely in the wrong, and the best thing you can do is block them.
You might argue that if human beings knew how to coexist, there wouldn’t be wars and you’re right. It is the people who are not internally happy that take the audacity to attack other people’s freedom.
“Pain and suffering occur, with periodic despair and proneness to emotional upset. The ego-mind, which sees everyone as separate, is envious of anyone else who appears happier, more successful, or with a better relationship, a better body, or better connections. Soon, because of a lack of inner clarity about goals, there is confusion leading to self-pity, envy, and further resentment. Self-condemnation gets endlessly projected onto the world, taking the form of condemnation from others, which increases further the guilt and feeling of smallness,” wrote David R. Hawkins in Let It Go.
Healthy and fulfilled individuals don’t have the need to attack others. But another thing is having a peaceful conversation. While I personally am not a fan of taking my opinions to other people’s spaces, I have come to understand that people usually don’t mean ill when they do that themselves.
Thank these people, but don’t let their words affect your mood or confidence. Remember that we only react to our own perceptions of reality, not to the reality itself.
I discovered this funny thing in myself. When someone messages me or replies to me somewhere on social media, I can get offended or upset. But when I force myself to re-read what the person wrote, I interpret the message a lot differently. If I reread it again, I, again, get a different perspective. Think about how many messages get misinterpreted this way if people trust their first instinct and react to other people in that way.
I like to view this humankind as one with common goals. We’re all here for one purpose: to achieve the best results we can for ourselves and those around us. Some people may not be in complete peace with who they are, and you bear with it.
That’s why I wish psychology and self-discovery was taught on a wide level in schools.
That’s why I wish more people were acquaintances and friends with their inner selves.
The ancient story about creating the universe goes like:
“As the gods created the universe, they discussed where they should hide Truth so that human beings would not find it right away. They wanted to prolong the adventure of the search.
‘Let’s put Truth on top of the highest mountain,’ said one of the gods. ‘Certainly, it will be hard to find it there.’
‘Let’s put it on the farthest star,’ said another. ‘Let’s hide it in the darkest and deepest of abysses.’
‘Let’s conceal it on the secret side of the moon.’
In the end, the wisest and most ancient god said, ‘No, we will hide Truth inside the very heart of human beings. In this way, they will look for it all over the Universe, without being aware of having it inside themselves all the time.’”
We all have truth hidden inside us. Discover your truth and live life according to your own truth. Once you do that and learn to stand your ground, other people’s opinions won’t undermine your confidence.
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